Fear Of The Unkown
(Laura’s thoughts)
In 2017 I was hit by a car while riding my motorcycle. My pelvis, right femur, and right hand were broken and my left hip dislocated. Im very grateful my body is still functional and I can still snowboard. That did not come easily. I put everything into my physical therapy, started swimming laps, and try to avoid actions that hurt.
My left leg is noticeably smaller and less defined than my right. I tried weight training and physical therapy. I’ve tried to reconnect my brain to that side of my body. I did EMDR to address the PTSD. I feel frustrated like I’ve tried everything and it’s still weak and painful. Occasionally I get sharp pains doing normal daily activities.
During a Meetup I asked a friend about their knee recovery. After surgery they got to a point where they stopped making progress. They wondered if they were doing too much, or not enough. They felt like the plato was related to something they were doing wrong. Eventually they went and got their knee examined again. They got a ortho scope. Within a month they started to feel stronger.
Hearing this story made me so emotional. I am scared of the unknown. What if my hip needs to be replaced? What if it can’t be fixed?
I am going to get my hip checked out. Im terrified. Listing and confronting my fears has helped a little. Not actually knowing whats going on is shitty by itself. No matter what the outcome is I bet that getting some clarity will help.
“7 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of the Unknown And Get More Out of Life”
-By Kathryn Sandford for LifeHack.org
(Edited / shortened for our reading)
The fear of the unknown can be hard to describe because all the feelings and thoughts around this fear are in our head. These negative feelings and thoughts create mental blocks. It is these mental blocks that influence the way in which we live our life and if let loose can have a detrimental impact on us living our lives to the fullest.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela
To be able to conquer your fear of the unknown, you have to be committed to making the changes within yourself.
How to Overcome Your Fear of the Unknown
1.UNDERSTAND YOUR FEAR
Our brain is hardwired to prefer negative consequences to uncertain outcomes. Our fear of the known is not based on reality. Our fear of the unknown is just a whole pile of self-limiting beliefs based on what we think may happen and not on what is our reality.
2. FIND THE CAUSE OF YOUR FEAR
The fear of the unknown is made up of many thoughts and beliefs that result from negative experiences. If you have failed in business or you feel you have failed in life and have low self-belief, then your fear of the unknown will be heightened and wanting to protect you.
When you are faced with the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, spend some time analyzing the cause of your fear of the unknown. Once you have identified the cause of your fear, then brainstorm ways to minimize risk and ways in which you can cope with the hurdles you may face.
3. QUESTION YOUR FEAR
The fear of the unknown is based on our perception of what might happen in the future. The future has not happened and this is where you take your fears to court and question them.
For example, ask yourself the following 3 questions:
What evidence is there that supports my fear of the unknown?
What are 3 examples where I have successfully coped with uncertainty?
What evidence is there that I will fail and my fear of the unknown will be right?
4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN OPTION
“The guy who takes a chance, who walks the line between the known and unknown, who is unafraid of failure, will succeed.” Gordon Parks
An underlying cause of our fear of the unknown is based on our fear of failure. This is especially true when we are about to embark on a new journey that will take us out of our comfort zone.
If you cannot accept that the possibility of failure is an option, then your fear of the unknown will convince you to stay put in your comfort zone.
If we take away the idea of failure and use setbacks as experiences to draw lessons from, there will always inevitably be a positive outcome at some point in your journey.
5. RIDE THE WAVE OF FEAR
“Unknown is what it is. Accept that it’s unknown and it’s plain sailing. Everything is unknown-then you’re ahead of the game. That’s what it is. Right?” — John Lennon
Talking to someone about your feelings is one good technique to managing your fear. Also, exercise and mediation help to slow your thoughts down and keep your mind focused on the present not what may or may not happen in the future.
6. EMBRACE CHANGE
We live in a world of constant and at times disruptive change. The more we resist change, the more it will persist in our lives.
Accept that you cannot avoid the effect of change in your life. Also accept that change is not to be feared by you. The more you open up to the concept of change, the more resilient and courageous you will become.
Resisting change keeps you in a place of discomfort and that’s where your fear of the unknown likes to be.
7. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS – THE KEY TO QUIETING YOUR MIND
Your fear of the unknown is created by your thoughts and self-limiting beliefs that are all held in your mind. For some of us, these thoughts and beliefs have been in our minds for many years and have a huge influence on how we live our lives.
These thoughts and beliefs will not go away over night. It takes commitment and work from you to retrain your mind so that you have peace and successfully manage the noise of thoughts in your mind.
“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra
“By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us.” — Alan Wyatts
Thought/ Journal Topics:
Is there anything you are scared to admit to yourself?
Think of a tough situation. What is the worst case scenario? Is it as bad as you make it out to be?
How likely is that worse case scenario? Are you spending more energy worrying about something unknown than it merits?
Make a list of fears. Does writing them down help?
(Laura’s thoughts)
I’m scared that I’m missing crucial paperwork or legal stuff for We’re All Mental. There’s so much I don’t know its scary. The worst case scenario is a government agent knocking on my door and telling me I have to shut it down. This is EXTREMELY unlikely. Even if it did happen, I would be okay. Writing this down helps me realize that I’m making a nightmare out of nothing.
For my hip- maybe I need surgery. Maybe I need a hip replacement. Maybe nothing can be done, and I need to live with the pain and discomfort. Not knowing whats going on and trying to ignore its flare ups is worse than any of these options. Worst possible case scenario they say its fucked and cut off my leg. Likelihood of that - about 0.
