Remaining Calm in difficult situations
(Laura’s thoughts)
I left Minnesota on Wednesday morning, headed back to Salt Lake City. This drive usually takes me 18 hours. Around 7:00 pm I got stuck on the shoulder of the highway trying to pass semi-trucks in a blizzard. I dug myself out, drove back onto the road, and decided to wait it out. I turned my truck off to conserve gas. When I went to start it up around 1 am when I got cold my battery was dead. We didn’t get help until 1:00 pm the next day.
I called a friend and joked about how fucked up the situation was. I told myself that the best thing I could do was stay calm. I knew I wouldn’t freeze to death because If i got too cold I could get in someone else’s truck. I was grateful I had cell service, lots of warm layers, snacks, and hand warmers. I figured worst case scenario wed be there for 2 days, best case scenario we’d be out early the next morning. Either way, I was getting out. I made a nest in the cab of my truck and went to sleep.
Semi-truck drivers woke me up around 9:00 am frantically knocking on my window - they were worried I was freezing to death. Their energy made me think about how the situation could have unfolded differently if I had gotten scared and left the safety of my truck or had a panic attack and not thought rationally about how to wear the most layers….
Reading:
What to Do When Your Mind (Always) Dwells on the Worst-Case Scenario by Meg Jay
(shortend for our reading)
Catastrophizing is a common reaction to uncertain situations where we tend to overestimate the likelihood or consequences of our worst fears.
It’s very common among young adults between the ages of 18 and 35, because the part of the brain that deals with uncertainties is still developing during this time in our lives.
To overcome catastrophic thinking, avoid dwelling in your past or present. Try to stay right where you are.
Imagine your best- and worst-case scenario. You’ll realize that both are just childlike fantasies.
Understand that reality is not black or white. It’s usually someone in the middle.
To stay motivated, remind yourself of all the times in the past when you’ve actually overcome crises.
Your brain is like a smoke detector. Imagine that you’re sitting at your desk at home and clearing out your inbox when the smoke alarm goes off down the hall. What’s your first reaction?
Aargh! I forgot to take my toast out of the oven.
The house is on fire!
In your day-to-day life, uncertainties are like smoke. Your job is to figure out whether the problem is burnt toast, a house fire, or just a false alarm, and respond accordingly.
But this is easier said than done.
Stop time traveling. Most of our catastrophes exist in the future. Mentally transporting yourself to next month or next year is no way to solve a problem in the here and now. Rather, take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, and stay right where you are.
Focus on what is. Part of staying in the present is not focusing on “what if” but on “what is.” Catastrophizing is based on fear rather than on facts.
Get more data points. The real cure for catastrophizing is confidence, and confidence comes from experience.
Thought/ Journal Topics:
Think of a chalenging situation that made you freak out. Did anything good come from your intense reaction?
What do you do to stay calm during a crisis / disaster scenario?
Can you better prepare yourself for inevitable hardships?
