Having Fun
Adapting when challenged
(Billi’s thoughts)
Sometimes putting fun first is key.
This morning after a super busy fun full weekend I messaged Laura about a topic and if she sent out the email. She had not, she herself was having a fun weekend where she, for once, forgot all about the long list of things she needed to do and just purely enjoyed the present.
The thing about running a community like We’re All Mental is that you have to show up 24/7. When you’re not posting, writing, emailing, and speaking to people about the future, you’re spending any spare time thinking about what steps you need to do next.
Most of the time this is 100% satisfying, especially when we see how the hard work is paying off.
Other times it can get overwhelming. It’s like having a child that you need to check up on all the time. It can be defeating, exhausting and sometimes you just don’t want to do it.
On the days when you do show up, it is the best feeling when we receive a like, comment, email or some other connection from you all.
This weekend an unintentional a holiday was taken to refresh the mind.
A time where we both got to enjoy the moment in the now.
No matter how big the list or how much you think you need to be doing, fun really does need to come first sometimes.
I would love to say sorry for the late topic, but I don’t believe I am sorry for taking this time off. However I am most thankful for each and everyone of you that turns up, helps out and a make this community what it is
“Here's why you should make a habit of having more fun”
-by April Fulton for NPR
(Edited / shortened for our reading. Check out the full article below)
When was the last time you flew too high on a swing and lost your stomach, or busted out laughing so hard that you started crying?
If it's been awhile since you've had this kind of fun, you're not alone.
A lot of us are still recovering from antisocial habits formed in the pandemic. And these days, events outside of our control are taking a serious toll on our health. Last fall, 76% of adults surveyed by the American Psychological Association said stress from politics, race relations, violence and inflation has affected their health. They report experiencing headaches, fatigue, depression, nervousness and exhaustion.
But the antidote may be hiding in plain sight.
Psychologist Mike Rucker makes the case that pursuit of fun experiences may be even more valuable than seeking the sometimes abstract goal of happiness.
"Happiness is a state of mind," Rucker writes. "But fun is something you can do. It doesn't require education, money or power. All it requires is intentionality. If happiness is a mirage, fun is your backyard oasis."
1. Stop worrying about how happy you are
People who highly value happiness may end up feeling "disappointed about how they feel, paradoxically decreasing their happiness the more they want it," wrote the authors of a 2011 study in the journal Emotion.
In contrast, fun is relatively easy to achieve yet many adults are conditioned to believe that it isn't important, and experience very little of it.
"Even if you're not happy, you can have fun, even if that's just having coffee with a friend."
Science has just begun to study the importance of fun and play, so there's not a strict definition. But Rucker writes that fun generally involves doing something active and intentional (as opposed to mindlessly watching TV), often includes other people, is something you choose for yourself, and can give a thrill that transcends the ordinary.
2. Find your 'fun magnets'
If you're not sure where to start, Price recommends you ask yourself: What are my "fun magnets?"
"Put your phone away for a while and come up with three to four memories when you had real fun," she advises.
Look for common threads, like which people are involved, what kinds of activities you enjoy, where do they take place. Are there activities that would be fun that you'd like to try? Are there activities you can get rid of that are not fun?
3. Put fun on the calendar
Once you identify what fun is to you, you can start to schedule more of it.
A game night — especially something as absorbing and mentally challenging as mahjong — can be a bright spot in the week.
But fun comes more easily when you're young, says Price. When you're older, you don't find yourself in the kind of unstructured environments conducive to fun, like a playground full of kids you don't know.
Sometimes people you could have fun with are waiting for an invitation. "It's like romance," she says of scheduling fun. "You need to light some candles, set the scene."
But it's well worth it. People who take a vacation return to their work less stressed and possibly more creative, and the benefits could extend to smaller adventures.
When you put something fun like a hike on the calendar, you open up to moments of "awe and wonder," like the surprise appearance of a deer on the path, for example, Rucker says. These moments can improve mood and lower stress levels, which can reduce the risk of heart disease and diabetes.
4. Unplug (no, but seriously!)
Pay attention to how much of your leisure time is spent scrolling on a phone or passively watching TV, Rucker advises. That's "yielding to the nothing," he says, and is a deceptively easy escape from feelings of boredom or discomfort.
Most of us have control over at least two hours of our day for leisure activities, and some of us have up to five hours. But the average American uses up more than two hours on social media per day. Consider using your time instead to do "just one thing that used to bring you joy," suggests Rucker.
Technology can be the enemy of fun. If you're always connected to your phone, checking that one last email or text, you're not present. Rucker says. "We need to "stop being 'on' all the time."
Real fun usually involves sensory experiences and, often, interactions with other people.
NPR listener Rachel Maryam Smith fell in love with making giant soap bubbles when she was in college. She soon started making them in public, eventually hosting events with up to 300 people. She loves that bubbles put a smile on everyone's face.
5. Share the fun and amplify it
Another tip Price swears by for more fun is sharing what brings you delight with someone else. Price now has running text chains with several friends who send her photos of upbeat moments throughout their day. Just for fun, she recently sent some friends $10 disco balls she discovered on Amazon so they could delight in their own dance parties.
Like any new habit, fun takes practice, as well as trial and error. Experts say start small and build.
"It's harder to get to spontaneity if you have to schedule it on your calendar, but once you do, you're creating more opportunity for spontaneity to happen," Rucker says.
Thought/ Journal Topics:
When was the last time you had fun?
What things do you do when you want to have fun?
Reflect on the past week, was there more work then fun? If so how can you fit more fun in?
What activities in the near future would you like to do ? What hikes, music gigs, traveling adventures are you planning ?
What makes you laugh?
What makes you happy?
What are your top 5 bucket list adventures?
